Ashton Zyer goes to Portugal

The Window Seat 14F

2008-12-18T00:56:00.000-08:00

I'm up early to catch my Continental Flight to Newark this morning. I'm totally bummed I'm headed home as my adventures are coming to a close, but totally stoked about all the good times. I'm thinking back to the first day of my trip, and remember that awesome moment on the plane when the little boy in the row in front of me hurled all over the place...that was yummy! I'm just hoping I don't get anywhere near kids on the flight. As we board the plane I am in the isle seat next to this old portugese couple...DANG! This is going to be a looooong flight home, especially since they don't speak English. I notice the row in front of me is completely empty, and so I've got this plan to steal the window seat ASAP. This guy gets on the plane, and kinda has the same idea about the empty seat, so he takes the isle, and I lean around to ask if I can take the window seat. He was totally cool with it, then a few minutes later we get kicked out by some late peeps...doh! This blows....I'm back with the grumpy old couple. Then the heavens open up, angels are singing...the guy who took the isle seat has found an empty row and the window seat 14F is open...AWESOME! Even more awesome...check out my row mate for 7 hours!

HOT! Check out those lips...Stacey here's my Paris and the Eiffel Tower blog. So my new friend Paulo is from Lisbon, speaks four different languages, and is a black belt in something =) Something like engineering, and he works for BMW. We totally have a great time kicking it and chatting. These international flights have games programed in your little television screen. Paulo decided to come on over to 14E and play some checkers. After we tie, he tells me to close my eyes........and......you'll have to call me to get the rest.

So after lunch we both started collecting and designing this cheesy trash collage. I know the flight attendant was so stoked to grab this while coming through the isles.
After our flight Paulo wanted to take me to dinner, so we hung out at this random steakhouse in the Newark airport with three hours to burn. Can I get your number baby....hit me with the 7 digits!

HOT....way better than my little Lebanese Lover Stacey...don't you think!
Needless to say, I think that was the shortest international flight I have ever had in my entire life! Thanks Paulo! I'm home y'all....I'd love to hear from you....and hear about your cool holiday adventures. You're cool for taking this cool ride with me to Portugal. Even cooler cause you are just you!

If only we could all be Irish

2008-12-18T00:03:00.000-08:00

It's my last day in the Algarve, and today we are trying to wrap up any last minute purchases before I board the plane to Lisbon this afternoon. After we left the house today we stumbled across this very cool street fair....there were quite a few antique stands. Check out this cool chandelier. I'm rolling my clothes really tight to see if I can make room.

Cork is the number one export in Portugal. This dude had a bunch of pieces left over, and he didn't want to waste them...hense the birth of the cork guitar.

Too much down time.......

Totally too much down time! This guy on the end did not want his picture taken. I think he forgot to trim his nose hairs. My guy is the one with the cane...hot! I love their old man hats.

The poinsettas have been planted for the holiday season...

Here we have a little pastry cart on the street fair.....give you a little tip.."Don't waste any time trying to figure out which one you want...they all pretty much taste like Eggs."

Especially these bad boys. People walk around eating these like we would cotton candy. My aunt loved it so much it was in the trash after two bites. Pretty in the picture though....

Blair this picture is for you...it reminds me of all the times you have driven to the airport to watch the planes. These statues are in the roundabout at the Faro airport....this means I am getting sad to leave.

Until I meet my little Irish lova! I ran into these plastered Irish men in the Airport. We had a cool hang, talked about ther furniture throwing over the balcony adventures last night, and what their favorite drink was over the weekend...their answer..."UHHHHHH...I don't remember what I drank." If only we could all be Irish...there's a few things I wouldn't mind not remembering.
This guy is trying to figure out how he got here this afternoon. It's a little fuzzy...

This kid on the floor is like 14 I swear...well maybe not that young, but the rooky! He's looking for some drugs to cope with his headache...

Another rainy day, but a gorgeous flight...later Loule!

Dining alone..=(

Maybe you can tell me how this is supposed to work dad. This was right outside my door, and I have to admit I was stumped for a minute....

Just where am I supposed to be going?

I've been watching CNN all night. Looks like people in Portugal care about Hillary Clinton and Obama...I'm American and I don't care about Clinton and Obama...whoops did I say that out loud.

Late y'all,

Grub and Scum!

2008-12-04T00:16:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and I am bomb tired! I have stayed up until 2am talking with my aunt, and we are up again at the crack getting ready to travel into Faro. We are shooting to be there around 9am because she is playing for a children's program at her church. The kids were awesome! One of the boys sang so loud he outsung every other kid in the choir. I think the choir had about 10 kids. One kid had his fly open the whole time, standing for the world to see. You kinda notice those things when everyone is speaking another language and you have nothing to do but notice the things you should not be noticing. My peronal favorite was the little girl who refused to sing the whole time and just stared at you...still staring, still staring!

The weather is still bad, we are hoping to get out and see some sites after we go home to feed the missionaries in Loule. As i'm driving with my aunt she talks about how tired she is and how she would like to not have to do dishes..I don't know how it ends up this way, but some how she bets me that I can't get the boys to do the dishes. Me....she dared to bet me! =)

Check out those boys in aprons baby! They look suited up, ready to Disco! I'm helping them clean out the drain because they have already got their "clog" on....no disposal in this place. He just wants me to take this picture, so he can show his mom he actually works! =0) I don't know if he actually knows how to use that scrubber. But he sure looks good holding it.

"Dang, girl...I know I look good!"

Is dis what they do in da "United States"....with zees feengers like dis? Rodriguez is from Portugal...this is when he thinks he's getting out of apron mode!

Watch out...she's got the towel flick comin' on. One time my mom told my dad "If you ever flick me with a towel we're done!" I'm glad he never tried, I probaby wouldn't be here flicking my towel. I working up to a good welt, or cut maybe.

I don't think he's ever seen a women flick a towel like that! I've never seen a man enjoy his apron so much either.

Uh oh......who broke the sink? This is awesome, you ask the men to do some scrubbin',

you leave 'em alone for 5 min, and they're taking the kitchen sink apart.

Yum, yum...look at that scum! I walked by this pile and gagged, it smelt like overflowing sewage and cheese! Today was my aunts lucky day! Not only did she get a free dish wash, she got a free sink repair. Question is....how many dudes did it take to fix a sink? This one was the brave...I have no idea why chop sticks are the item of choise for this repair, whatever gets it done I guess.

Man, don't you just want to take your tongue and lick that bad boy! GAAAAG

Really a job isn't quite done, until a man is bleeding!

"Ahh...little fungus puts hair on your chest!" Yah so does herpes!

After half a load of dishes, a fixed sink, and an hour of time out the door I figured I'd jump in and stop torturing these guys. I'm giving them a hard time, but they were really good sports. It was a lot of pots and pans! Next time you bet me though just make sure you have a lot of extra stuff that needs to get done, like a lawn mowed, or maybe emptying an andygump, picking up dog poop perhaps. I mean come on...make it challenging!

Sorry no sites today, just as these cool guys got suited up to leave, the rain started to pour down. Looks like movie night tonight! AZ

If I ever get married......

2008-12-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

.......this is the hairstyle I should have! I mean this really says it all...yup...just me, and some hair gel = marital bliss! Take a moment to click on this picture and enlarge...then sit back and enjoy the splendor!
I took that shot after walking into a photography shop, where my aunt was looking to blow up some photos...this picture was poster size times 2. I had to take the picture before the owners got mad that I was stealing a photo, of a photo!

Now check this out...i'm at the mall, and you would think most women in this country would be more concerned about personal toiletries when using the restroom..you know, like your standard tampon/pad. Not these women...who cares if you are bleeding all over yourself...are your teeth clean? 2 Euros for a tooth brush and paste. I was looking for the dispensor for dental floss. I kinda wanted to get a kit and start brushing my teeth slowly while looking at the 20 women crammed in line waiting for a toilet to use...slow back and forth brushing, and then occupy the sink for 10 min, just spitting really loudly!

Today is a rainy day. We had a couple great days in the Algarve, but good things must die sometimes, so they can come back. The clouds get incredibly black and pour down for about 10 min and then clear up. All buildings in Loule are yellow.....kidding.

Check out these clouds...pretty awesome next to the white buildings. We are at the Farmers market here in Loule. I know everywhere in the world has some kind of farmers market. It's fascinating to see what the locals buy and sell...

Americans use plastic tarps, and the Portugeuse use fabric tarps...a bit romantic don't you think?

Stacey Keysor...this shot is for you. I tried to get the full shot of the bootay, but I was like 3 feet away and he turned around just as I was trying to get the full moon. Oh well...it was the thought that counts. Our shot in Paris of 15 officers still rocks this one!

I promised a better shot of the fountain in town...here you have it. I filled my water bottle up each day as I walked by....good thing I packed Imodium!The Algarve is known for their fish. This section of the farmers market was huge! It wrapped around most of the building, and they sold everything from fresh Salmon, to shrimp, and crab, and lots of sardines.Here is a big piece of that Bacaluau I was telling you about that smells like salty dog! I'm assumming the stamp on that is like our Grade A stamp on meat! =) In the last few days I have learned this is a very popular fish of the Algarve. In our counrty this fish would be known as Cod Fish. Just like the french who boast they have a different cheese for every day of the year, these locals boast a different dish made with Cod for every day of the year. I don't know how you season salted dog differently every day of the year, but cool.

I love local men and women of the areas I visit. This is probably my favorite part of traveling and staying with people who live here. My aunt buys oil, and nuts, and olives from this little ol' couple. When we come by to purchase our goods, she has a cute little embrace, and a grab of the hand to show you around her little stand. When most people give you just a cup of olives she gives you massive heapings and just an extra little for some love. All is done with maybe 2 or 3 words, as both don't really understand each other. It's amazing how well we can communicate without really saying anything. The affection is beautiful and mutual. I bought tupperware to bring olives home for a taste with friends who love olives...any guesses how long they will last?

Black is also worn by this couple out of respect for a loved one who has passed on, and is a religious tradition...they will wear black for one year. They should come shopping in my closet!

Besides your standard fruits, veggies, and fish, the locals sell a lot of almonds (grown in the algarve), almond liquor, figs stuffed with almonds, olive oil, fruit cakes, and honey. You can't see it below, but each stand was filled with the same stash.

More smelly dog!

Shelly this picture is for you....I only wish I had the ability to get her story! This is a classic get up for the older women in this area. They also wear aprons that button over the front, a bit smock like.

The gentlemans club! MJB eat your heart out...there were so many old men just hanging out on the streets of Loule, you just need a hat and you're in!

Even though this area has a ton of nuts, I never once found Pecans....huhhhhhh!

This is what I call "Whole Foods" on Crack. There were piles and piles of olives you can try.

This gorgeous building surrounds the farmers market. The sun decided to smile when I took the shot.

So did she! I thought this girl was adorable. She is an old neighbor of my aunts we ran into on the streets. She is from Brazil. Portugal has a large amount of Brazilians...makes sense. It's like going from California to Texas, though I don't really think they speak the same language in the south. =)

This man rules! Check out this mad instrument, and cool hat! I even dig the cool Portugal Rooster lining his accordian case. He's not messing around with this microphone attached to the front of the grill! Ajay maybe I should ask what kind of mic. he's using for the studio!

He doesn't know...but i'm sneaking in to give him a kiss.....actually i'm just trying to unplug the amp and run like a bandit.

"Hey...who turned my sound off?"

The gypsie fair was a bit like a big fat swap meet rolled up in dust. A bit more rustic we will call it!

This couple from Ecuador buys from their family and sells/trades here. Very talented musicians and super humble/sweet people. They go to church with my aunt on Sundays.

Ooooh, look at all the pretty colors! I want one of those, and one of those...and one of those...

Clouds are comin' in! We gotta jam before we get slammed with water.

See you all tomorrow.....we're going home for round 4 on that pumpkin pie! I think i'm turning orange! AZ

Paper Airplane

2008-11-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

When was the last time you made a paper airplane...2 years ago, 5 years ago, yesterday? I grew up in a home with a father who could craft the most amazing paper airplanes, and I have found myself on occasion to make a paper airplane. When I construct an airplane I'm obsessed with how razor sharp I can make the point of the plane, convinced it will fly further that way. Typically my airplanes will fly a short distance and then come crashing down. Never liked those crash landings! I seem to have a lot of those in my life. Every once in awhile I'll craft a brilliant plane. When that plane takes flight I find myself saying "Go, Go, Go", as if each "Go" will encourage the plane to fly further than it has before. One year ago today I made a paper airplane. I made a plane for one of my best friends, though at the time we were not quite that. I didn't know then, like most planes I construct, if that friendship would crash and burn, or if it would take off and have a long cool ride. Lucky for me it has been a good ride! Today I made an airplane, for that friend. You know who you are. This blog on this day is dedicated to you, and a few other photos have been included in memory of our adventures on this day. To everyone else reading today, I love and miss you, and hope you enjoy some of the cool things I had a chance to see.

This old dirt road and stone wall is right outside my aunt's house. Whenever we drive by it I imagine people years back traveling up and down with animals or food, etc. The wall had to have been constructed a few hundred years ago.
This is the apartment complex where my aunt lives. You'll notice its pretty modern, and inside they have most modern conveniences except heat (one room has a space heater)...I've never been so cold, for this long!
MJB..do you notice what this is? It's fake grass! I knew you would be a fan, and it's in the drive way. No lawn mowing, just a rake! Yeah!
This is next door to my aunts. I thought this was interesting. This is the entrance into a town home or a single home. They all stack up next to each other. There is a call box, a place to get mail, etc. The gate on the left is where you enter into your place, and i'm in love with this electric garage. The gate on the right is the safety gate to let cars in! It's awesome....it's incredibly tiny too. It may look bigger here, but you can barely get your car in. Those Portuguese sure know how to secure a place! =)
This random dive is right next to my aunts house as well, across from the super charged security car gates. I thought it was cool...wanted to take a little sit on that ol' recliner myself.
Today out of all days I will be in Portugal, I wanted to go to the Museum.
This is an old museum/church/bone chapel we visited in Faro

These catholic churches are pretty intense inside. The wood work is always stunning to me! I wish I could have gotten a better shot, but no flashes please!

After looking through the church you can travel to the back where there is an old bone chapel. 12,000 monks were dug from their graves and honored by making this bone chapel.

Serious bones yo..no messin' around here!
Would you be freaked out if a dead body dropped on your head from the ceiling? Not a good place for a shot gun, that's for sure!

Why one smiles when they are in a bone chapel I don't know!
Looking up their noses to see if we can find any boogies!
Whoops...almost lost my paper airplane....close call! Can you imagine if you came back at night and the ghosts of the chapel thought it would be cool fly my paper airplane!
Poking out some eye balls! That's not very nice AZ....they are already pretty messed up now don't you think?!

Gene was worried if he'd stay too long he'd end up in the Bone Chapel..after sweating about it, he had to get some water to cool off at this pump right outside the chapel.
This picture is not a very interesting shot, but I took the picture of this painting because ironically enough as one of our friends was translating the writing on this painting, we found out today is the day this ship sank off the coast of Portugal. Right now you should hear the twilight zone soundtrack playing in the back your mind.
Confession anyone? MJB, this one is for you! =) With all the love a girl can have for catholic boys!

After that last museum/church/bone chapel we traveled about 20 min. to see one of the most acclaimed churches in Portugal...The Church of Saint Lawrence of Almancil dated back to 1518. A lot of these museums won't let you take photos on the inside, so I will just tell you...the inside was covered from floor to ceiling in little ceramic blue and white tiles. Each tile was like a little piece of a puzzle that was crafted together to create this massive story line about the tragedy and life of St. Lawrence. Incredible to note the tiles were shipped by boat and then constructed inside the church. What happens if a tile breaks? Darn is someone is missing a eyeball in the painting.

My aunt snapped this picture right outside the doors of this chapel. I'm trying to figure out how to sneak in and take a picture inside without anyone noticing..you'll notice my camera case in my right hand. If I get caught...will you call my mom!

I'd like to make out on that park bench...just thought you should know.
After the museum/church it started to rain pretty hard so we decided to go to the mall. In the courtyard was this cool huge tree. I personally dug the solo tree hanging out for a good time.

Look how small I am compared to it...
I gotta stop burning the midnight oil..it's almost 1am here. PS...this photo is not from Portugal.....thought it was a cool way to end the day...with all that midnight oil crap I was talking about.

Tomorrow we will go to the outdoor farmers market if it is not raining, I hope! We may even see some gypsies! Yeah baby...maybe i'll run away....me and my paper airplane! =) AZ

My wife is away in Belgium!

2008-11-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Today (Thursday) is the first day we leave Loule for the beach. I have heard the cliffs of Portugal are amazing! Every time we drive through the city we pass this monument. I have yet to get out and survive the roundabout to get a good shot, but wanted to include it while I could.

We have arrived at Ponte De Piedade, about an hour away from Loule. You can see the city is just starting to change colors for fall. This area is packed in the summer. It's crazy slow now, which I love! Everybody wants to be VIP when they are on tour, right? We were the only ones on the cliffs.

The Cafe is closed for the season. DANG I missed SPEEDO season!
The waster is freezing..i'm in my cowboy boots just for y'all in the west! I'm trying not to get caught by the waves while I try and grab some sand.
The cliffs are lined with these cobblestone pathways and stairs.

I decided to take me and my boots hikin'.

During the summer this place has quite a few tourist boats in and out of those shoots. The water is also pretty calm. You can see all the way to the bottom of the ocean...but not today.

Local trash cans.
Pre Hurricane.....

WOA! Hurricane....

This is like the nicest beach water closet ever.

Who knew their actually is a closet in a water closet!
This type of kelp brushes up on the shore lines all day. You also find in the cliffs a ton of fossils and old shells.

Okay check this out.... My Aunt Janel motions for me to come over to these local workers who are repairing the landscape at a beach restaurant. I have no idea what she wants me to do. She motions for the men I guess to take a picture. I have to climb up the side of the hill to get to them. The man on the right is TOTALLY drunk. He can't even talk straight, and has like four teeth.
Just when I think I'm done, she says a few other things that I of course don't understand and the man on the left looks at me, grabs my face and kisses me on the lips....I'm like WOA...what is going on! Then they both lean in for kisses. I get an even better whiff of the hard liquor as the toothless guy starts laughing and tries to go in for some more love. Dude...just my luck! I had to go through the same circus with the guys up top as well. I'm pretty sure my aunt is dead by the time I get down the hill! As we walk away and I'm protesting no more "smooth operator" kissing moves from the locals. I find out that the guy who laid down the love told my aunt his wife was away in Belgium. Sweet, he was making moves while the Mrs. was out. How did I get so lucky?

It's time to call for reinforcements! I decided to call the wife in Belgium!
We traveled into the city to visit a church, and we stopped for dinner. I'm luvin' this picture behind me!
I ordered a Chicken salad with pineapple, and they served the salad with a cherry....cool! Soup is really big in Portugal, but I have yet to find a real authentic restaurant. Just still eating Pumpkin Pie from two days ago.
While leaving the restaurant we passed this building. I call it the Emerald City. It was such a cool green building with a tourist shop below.
The town of Logos has incredibly tiny streets. If you are not careful you can get stuck in a real Austin Powers Moment. I have no idea where any of these people park their cars!
Hope you all had an awesome turkey day! I'm going to bed at 1am today.....I've adjusted at least three hours now..yeeha! Much thanks to all of you my friends for your laughter and all of our cool times together. AZ

Ignorance is NOT bliss!

2008-11-26T15:19:00.000-08:00

Okay something tragic has happened today! It's Turkey Day on Wednesday for us, and I have slept only a few hours because I didn't go to bed until 4:00am. I'm trying to get ready before everyone comes over. I've done my aunts hair, and her hair blower starts to smoke...uh oh! Luckily I got her hair done in time. I try to give it a break and go back to use it. The dryer lasts only a few minutes...I decide I have to curl my hair to look presentable.

I'm not pouty here because I have to use the curling iron..I'm devastated because while I am curling my hair I smell something aweful! Something smells like its burning.......oh SNAP it's my hair! I look in the sink...and its full of broken hair. I burnt my hair off. It's like straight out of an episode of Little women. I keep pulling at my hair in disbelief, and it keeps breaking and breaking into the sink! I don't know if I should cry, scream, laugh, what! I walk out to Gene and Janel, with this face and told them I burnt my hair off. Gene asks if I plugged into the right adapter. I was like...what adapter? I didn't think it mattered. Why couldn't I just plug into the american power converter. Then Gene starts talking about 120 watts and 220 watts, and I'm like....what....since how am I supposed to know that plug would blow up my curling iron and burn my hair off! Here's some of my burnt hair still stuck to the curling iron! The rest went down the sink.

Okay..now check out my hair! One of the girls who came over today thought it was just my color...but look at the golden parts of my hair..not the really blond, the golden parts...this is burnt hair! Maybe you can't see it really well...but man I know where it is...especially since my hair is lopsided now. I think I may have to cut my hair off to fix the damage....man that really sucks! I hope not! How in the world did I not know you couldn't plug in your curling iron...I know Dad...now is not the time to bring up that one time I put Diesel accidentally in my gasoline only car!

Okay, while i'm trying to get over my disaster, A. Janel and I have finished up all the Thanksgiving trimmings. They paid close to $70 for this turkey, and the ovens here are so small we had to measure it before we picked the turkey up yesterday to make sure it would fit. A. Janel had to order the turkey because they don't carry them here until Christmas. She has made Yams, and homemade stuffing. I'm carving turkey and the peeps are showing up. A. Janel is serving up her mashed potatoes. These guys are soooo stoked to be having Thanksgiving dinner, and food from home! Some of them ate turkey sandwiches with no cheese, nothing...last year. A. Janel and Gene were totally cool to pay for this meal for the kids. Not a cheap deal!

These three girls serve in Loule I believe. The one on the left is from Brazil and doesn't speak English...we had a good time conversing and hanging out...just like old pals now. =)
One word..."FRESHMEN"...the guy in the front is a Marriott. He comes from a family of 11 kids. His dad manufactures those little plates you put on the front of microwaves that make the microwave actually work. Who knew people did that?

I don't know this guy.... =)

Do you think A. Janel noticed I stole a pie? I'm going to eat the rest while I can't sleep tonight!

This was the crew they fed...just a bunch of cool kids. It was fun chilling with them for the day. Gene looks like he fits in! =0) I personally dig the guy in the front who looks like he's sitting on the toilet.

Janel and I ditched the crew around 4pm to see if we could make it to the castle in town. We passed this building on our way. The lighting on it was so cool I couldn't pass a photo opp.

So this castle has been here since 1359. We only had 10 min to tour, just enough to get the gist!
That's survival...kinda inspiring.

Is that a tall Cell tower behind me? I actually thought it was for a moment, and then like a dumb, hair singed blonde, I realized trees actually do grow and look like cell towers.
A view from the top.....

This dungeon had such cool lighting...I'd hang there!
The city of Loule is all lit up for the holidays. Here are a few cool pictures I snapped while out and about town.

Check out these designs that line this city street...
Each street had decorative lighting linked between the building. These chandeliers were stunning.

"What did you say....oh you want me to come over and sit on your lap!"

"Hey you're kinda hot!" "I love the way you're lookin' at me!"
"What...you need a kiss?" Like you don't get enough action sitting here every day watching the old ladies pass by?
"Here's one for the road...I'd kiss your mouth, but I don't know where it's been!"
Can someone help me..I think this might be too big for me!
Two reasons could lead up to why this shot was taken...A) I was a clever photographer and took it from the ground or B) I totally tanked it on the cobblestone road and out of embarrassment reached for my camera out of my bag and acted like I was taking a shot. You decide which reality sounds cooler to you.

I'm going to try and get to bed by 1am this time. We'll see how it goes. In the mean time, could you please take a moment to reflect on the start of my day and remember that 120 watts never equals 220! Still singed and devastated! Night-AZ

Come... we go to the market!

2008-11-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up to this crazy hacking sound. It sounded like a cat trying to cough up a fur ball the size of Texas time 10. I'm lying there in bed wondering if my sleeping pill is just dreaming up this beautiful sound, or if someone is dying upstairs. It's painful...I want to run upstairs with an oxygen tank and hook this guy up. I'm still trying to figure out a way to record the sound so you can see what it's like to wake up to a dying man...poor guy must have some kind of lung disease. I walk to the kitchen window of my aunts apartment and I see the ocean today. Can you see it way in the distance? Hopefully we make it out there at some point....

Today we went to the grocery store. I was all stoked to get pictures at the grocery store. Don't ask me why..it's just food right? We went to Modelo first. It's a grocery story chain. The grocery store was kinda like a Walmart/mini mall. It had a clothing store built off the front of the store. We did a little lap browse, and I came across this gem! Amie, this is for you...I thought this advertisement ruled! I took like 8 close up pictures I can show you when I get home..I just thought they were so "JOEY"/cheesy that I had to take the pic....

Like check out this dude with the peace sign, and the chick holding her hands in a ballet pose against her chest while she's caressing his scarf. Oh...and check out where those two peace fingers are located! Peace to the chest baby. Holding those bad boys up...The chest of love!

I tried to take some photos of the grocery store for you Dean, but we got kicked out Portuguese style...The wench in counter one (look in the photo below...with the bad perm) totally busted me for this shot. Who knew camera's weren't allowed in a grocery store...I don't think i've ever seen a no flash sign while standing in the check out line! Either way...it's pretty colorful wouldn't you say?

After Modelo we hit Pingo Dolce and Ledl, in search for the coveted stalks of Celery. Michael you would die in Portugal, nobody really has celery. I almost died passing the bacalha, which is a dried salted fish (about 2ft wide and 3 ft long)...all I know is that is smells like salted dog! Have you ever smelt a salted dog? Well I have. The stinky cheese we bought smelt like salted dog too. We threw it out! They sell sting rays at the seafood counter. Dean, do you think my local Vons can work that out for me? Eggs are not refrigerated, and milk comes in a box....shelf life is a year! That rules....Mom, there's no cake mix...no cake mix! I couldn't believe it. Did you know Lays makes Ketchup potato chips, ham flavored, and beef chips? Who knew there were so many cool new things to eat out there. Also the most genius thing about the shopping carts is that you have to place a Euro in the handle bars to unlock them, and you get the Euro back when you return the cart to its spot. Lazy americans could use this! I've seen americans have their return cart rack two cars away and still not walk their pizza luvin' butt over to return the cart. Probably would if they lost a Euro. Dean..that's how you can cut your pay roll. We also had to pay for grocery bags (3 to 4 cents) per bag...and don't bother bagging it in the shop, no get the hell out of the store and bag it at your own damn trunk! (Sorry mom/no need for profanity I know...Blair stop laughing).

All day was really just spent at the grocery store. We are trying to get everything together for Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow. My aunt and uncle will be hosting 16 missionaries over for dinner. It's a day early because some of them will be transfered out of their area to other parts of Portugal, and they want to give them a proper send off. I love this apron i'm wearing..I just wish the hands were placed a little further back. Dad..check out the pipes right about Janel...these actually hook up to a gas water heater that heats the kitchen sink water. You are sitting their washing your hands when woa....all the sudden you hear the machine ignite. P.S. I'm really not doing anything here, I just put on the apron to make it look like I actually cook. =) We are making cinnamon knots...my favorite!

Janel has requested a bunch of movies...it's like we are in movie marathon mode. I'm stoked because all I want to do is sleep. The jet lag is killing me...So these two love birds are set up for the evening movie "Radio" on the big screen....

The screen is so big they contemplate not wearing glasses! Luckily we have external speakers so we can hear! This is the only room in the house that has a little heater, so of course I'm chilling in the corner under my hoodie and wool blanket like a total princess!

They have gone to bed...i'm up staring at the wall! I'm up staring at the wall until 4:00am. This is ridiculous! Pretty soon i'll be straring at the wall and hearing the dying man cough up FIFI. I'm kinda tweaked from not being able to sleep. I've almost talked myself into lifting a piece of pumpkin pie. Maybe if I take a whole pie A. Janel won't notice something is missing...A whole pie is way less obvious than a piece right?

Four Wives, Scrabble, Goat Cheese, and Marshmallows

2008-11-26T12:34:00.000-08:00

Today I slept until 4:30pm...yup went to bed at 1am and slept all day. I'm still tired now and I'm up trying to get this blog done for y'all. When I finally decided to surface I had that friendly visitor come..you know the one that comes every 28-30 days..and probably why I was so tired, wanted to eat my arm, and cry all at the same time. I didn't want to add problem 6 or 7 to the list. So I am walking around with my white hoodie because it's super cold in the house, my tennis shoes and pink victoria secret pajama bottoms. I'm sure I look awesome right now. FO dinner we had left over pasta, this killer bread with roasted olive oil and garlic, salad, and some olives the neighbors harvested from their back yard. Michael you would be in heaven! Salt here is amazing....they don't so much use pepper, thought that was interesting. WE visited a group of families today. One of the guys told a story about a king who had four wives. He loved the fourth wife the most. She was beautiful, and idd everything in her power to stay healthy and beautiful; he loved the third wife as well, and loved her ability to decorate and make the house look beautiful. His second wife was the most loyal to him and would help him sort all of his problems out, and his first wife though he spent the least amount of time with, was the kindest and most accepting/understanding wife out of all of the women. One day the king fell ill and he knew he was to die. He didn't want to go alone so he asked the fourth wifeif she was willing to die with him. She said "No way, I'm not read to die", and left him. He asked teh third wife...she said "Nope, once you are gone I will find another to love." Sure that the king would die of a broken heart he asked his second wife. She said.."I cannot die with you, but I will bury you when you die." This left him to his first wife..the king said to his first wife.."I'm sorry, I have not spent enough time with you, and given you the proper care you deserved the whole time we were married. You have been my silent constant, and I need someone to die with. Though the king had neglected her, she had always loved him, and decided to die with him. From this old fable he wanted to teach this lesson..or at least tis is what I got in between translations.."The four wives represent four things in our own lives. Like the fourth wife we work and strive for health and beauty, but when we die our physical being will not follow us, we will be buried. The third wife represents wealth and prosperity. Though we may work our whole lives and often neglect other things in our lives it will not follow us past death, most likely it will find another home to be part of (bought/sold, etc.) The second wife represents our family. When we die we will not be able to take them with us, but they are the ones who will most likely bury us. Wife number 1 is our spirit. We often neglect our spirit for other pursuits and passions but it deserves the most attention. When we pass from this life it will be the only thing that exists. After the story we played something like scrabble hangman....who knows, I couldn't understand anything anyways. I did understand dessert though! We had marshmallows, sheep cheese, juice, fruit, and little sugar cookies. I personally dug the cheese and marshmallows! =) This is Anna Paula...she was our host, and when she laughed so hard it made me laugh, so I took a picture of her.

These were some of the homies we hung out with last night. I like the dude on the left, he's diggin' that goat cheese and scrabble.

Remember people...Goat Cheese, Scrabble, and Marshmallows...who could ask for more?

This elevator was just big enough for the three of us, so I thought I'd take a picture to show you how close my aunt was...now you should be asking...who's really taking the picture, and what is Gene thinking about right now?

Meet my Aunt Janel and Uncle Gene...don't they look cool suited up?
This is Anna Paula's house...I thought it was a cool building, like many other in Portugal.
So here's the deal... someone go out and try scrabble, goat cheese, and marshmallows, and let me know how it goes for you. I gotta roll to bed! AZ

Je t'aime Paris....blah..blah...blah!

2008-11-25T15:27:00.000-08:00

I want you to take a good look at this picture and at the end of this day come back and compare the start to the finish. It's now Saturday...I finally made it to bed about 4:00am New York time, and I forced myself out of bed at 9:00am just to try and get myself on the right schedule as soon as possible. I am showered and ready to go on my seven hour flight to Paris, and then on to Lisbon to arrive in Faro. Don't I look so happy?!

I've decided to wear my Ninja suit for the flight. Hopefully nobody will notice me when I'm completely out of it after I take my Dramamine and Adivant! Once I took Ambient and Adivant going to Russia, and I didn't wake up for 12 hours. So here's my ninja suite. Don't hate! I'm so Ninja you can't even see my head. How my feet got in there I'm still working on it......

....And here is my large pack holding a very small child.

So I've made it to the airport and have 3 hours to kill. I end up walking up and down the same 2 hallways coveting those awesome wallets that hold your passport. I wasn't about to blow $200 on a wallet...nope instead I blew $46 of that money just trying to get 100 Euros..yup...$146 American Dollars got me $100 Euros. I end up talking to my friend Amie and my mom for a couple of hours on the phone...looks like I'm running out of phone juice so I bail just in case I need the phone and can make calls in Paris. Blair I took this for you...with all the love a sister can have for your passion of planes, and P.S. you were right about the hotel...that was a Marriott blanket, I stayed at the Fairfield last night. In the morning I was that girl who decided to stuff her bag with free instant oatmeal. I have six packs right now, and four bags of tea! Jarrett my brother would be proud, my friend Daniel Mason would be horrified. I think I'm both right now. Here's the plane...

And here are my travel buddies. They are brother and sister going to Prague on a school trip. They were way cooler than my last travel mates, and no puking children this time.

So I had myself juiced up and ready to go with drugs, and my electrocuting motion band.

We have taken off almost 2 hours late, because they were searching for someone's bag who didn't make it on the plane, and then after the bag was found we were in a line up of 28 planes to take off. I didn't sleep the whole flight for some reason. As we are approaching Paris I take a look at my ticket to Lisbon...Ummmmm Problem 1: My next flight leaves at 7:15am, and we just landed at 6:45am. Problem 2: My flight is in another terminal, I have just asked the only attendant who understands English and she things I can get there in 10 min. walking. Problem 3: I'm at the back of the plane row 44. So I book it out, have no freaking clue if I know for sure where I am going. Thanks Amie for the warning on the airport, I still had problems navigating. Problem 4: They made you wait in line through customs to grab your next flight. I lost 20 min. of time getting to my next flight only to find the gate closed. Guess who else missed the flight?

Meet Rosalee everyone.

She's on her way to see her parents in Portugal. She is from Portugal but lives in Florida and works for Chase Bank. She knows Portuguese, but no French. I know a little bit of French, so dumb and dumber get to hang out together and figure out what in the world we are going to do. At the Air France ticket counter thy try and tell me the only flight out is at 8pm. Remember it's 7:00am in the morning, and I am supposed to be on a flight leaving from Lisbon to Faro at 3:20pm. I told her that wasn't going to work, so the shady French lady tells me she has a 4:55 pm flight instead...i'm looking around convinced I'm on the show "Amazing Race"...trying to barter getting to my destination in time. Still this flight makes me miss my flight to Faro. In fact the only flight leaving Lisbon to Faro at this point is 9:55pm. But the only way I was going to get that flight is if I check with TAP and have them switch the flight...forget the fact that Air France and TAP are all in the same network, I have to go hop terminals to talk them into getting me into Faro. I go to call my aunt who is expecting me at 5:00pm...I can't figure out how to work that pay phone with her international number. I wake my dad up...sorry dad! I think it was 1am....I realize its no use having him contact my aunt because I have no clue if I will actually get on that flight...then my phone dies. I can't call anyone..my aunts number was in my e-mails, and I don't remember my parents number. This is when good ol' Blair comes to the rescue...his number I remember because it's my old phone number. I call Blair....he's not up. Why isn't Blair awake? I call him again...he's nowhere...dang! Blair's making out with a chick for sure! Hey either way, thanks for getting my message and getting a hold of A. Janel.

This is all an act...we are really not that happy! Just bomb tired! We are on the train to terminal one to talk to TAP..and go figure...nobody is at the TAP counter. One hour later two guys show up to just check bags, not help with ticketing. We asked them where ticketing was, and one guy said to me..."If they don't show up in 10 min. he get's to kiss me"...How does that all work out? I asked him what happens if 15 min. go by and they don't show up...he says "I get to kiss you 2 times"....sweet. I told him he better watch the clock then.

Now i'm pissed...it's been 20 min, and all I want to do is crash because i'm so tired, and that dude at the TAP check-in keeps looking over and smiling...he's planning on cashing in. The TAP rep finally shows...Problem 5: TAP could care less if those snooty French are late, and since I missed my flight they are going to charge me 65 Euros to change (about $100 bones). On top of that I have this huge red zit growing on my face..and it hurts, and I'm convinced everyone is staring at me because it keeps getting bigger. I have decided to fight the system and wait until I get to Lisbon, and see if I can beg to have them put me on the flight free of charge. In the mean time did you know the Sheraton has a hotel inside the Paris airport? It's pretty sweet...we tried to figure out if we should split the difference and crash in a room for 5 hours...after finding out it was $300 we just stuck it out. I was so tired, when Rosalee would talk I just heard the mumble like on the show Charlie Brown. Just take a look and you'll see what I'm talking about...this about when you want to compare the start of the day to now...nearly 36 hours later.

I had to post this, all though not that glamorous...it's rather hilarious! I'm so done with Paris right now. We found this random lounge right in front of our gate, wish we would have found it four hours earlier, we could have taken a nap, instead of trying to figure out how we were going to get a bed at the Sheraton.

Finally on the plane and I sleep almost the whole two hours...well except for my feta and olive cheese sandwich I was asleep. Blair, I looked out the window to find these two sweet pics. Hope you enjoy them!

I finally made it to Lisbon, and started my circus of buying my next flight. Every airport is crazy different in Europe. I'm just lucky I actually got both of my bags. Rosalee wasn't so lucky! Good thing because I had Thanksgiving treats in my bag. Changing my plane ticket was no picnic. I was walking all over the place just to find someone to help me. I now know why people start crying when they are on survivor and amazing race...when you haven't slept forever, and you can't eat anything because nobody sells protein bars..only Panini sandwiches, and you don't want to be all stopped up with bread while you travel, and you're hormonal..yeah you could probably loose it pretty easily. I went to check my bag, and the chick at the counter looks at my carry on and says it has to be 20 kilos...or she'll charge me...dang! Good thing I packed a purse the size of Africa in that bag, because I just started emptying my stuff into the purse until I hit 20 kilo...went through security, got frisked...really exciting people! Went around the corner and stuffed everything back in my suitcase. Good thing she only wanted me to have it be 20 kilos because the flight was packed, and there was no space for bags...I even took a picture of how crazy it was...

Yeeehaaa! That's alot of people...hope there's room for your bag Ashton Zyer. I think there were 30 people on the plane the size of Southwest...even better, I felt like I was getting on the bus to ride the Greyhound before getting on the plane. They had us all line up in the hanger, load the bus, and no joke they drove us 50 ft to the airplane. I almost started laughing out loud. But you want to laugh out loud...check out this photo...I mean how sweet is this neck love! I'm stylin' now...I couldn't leave you today without the sweet shot.

So my Aunt and Uncle get the message...they are there to pick me up. We travel to the city of Lole where they live, and they inform me they don't have any heat. Eskimo style fo sho tonight!! It's cool...just don't wake me before noon! AZ

Day 1 is lots of fun!

2008-11-22T00:47:00.001-08:00

So I finally got on that plane and I'm headed to Portugal today! I'm going "Hans Solo"..as my friend Aaron referred to it today. This is my first international "solo" trip with nobody to be a witness to the madness that could occur. I figured the best way to remember this trip is to blog each day. By telling you I'm blogging just helps me be accountable to getting everything down. If you're "in"...hopefully it will be a rockin' good time!

Let's talk about packing for a minute...long gone are the days when someone asks you what are you packing to wear on your trip, or whether you'll take your cool shirt, etc. No, now the question is..."Do you think my bag weighs under 50 lbs?"...every person who came over I asked.."Do you think this is under 50 lbs?" I think I asked 8 or 10 people whether they thought my bag weighed 50lbs. Every person had to lift and examine...and depending on how big or small you were changed the answers on how busted I would be at the check in counter or not. Forget actually putting it on the scale..no that would have been too easy! So I took a picture of my bag....the person who comes the closest to the actual weight of my bag will get a special prize from Portugal. You have to e-mail it to me at ashtonzyer@yahoo.comand I'll check it when I come home...it's a bit of an obsession now for me...here is the suspicious bag...

How much does it weigh? Did I have to pay the extra fee...is it way under the limit? Remember I do love shoes...so guess wisely.

Finally , I made it on the plane after almost knocking over a few people with my walking closet. I purchased this sweet Oakley pack for my trip, and yes I am carrying a small child in my pack. It was so freaking huge I couldn't even fit it under the chair in front of me. I was hoping to sit by some cool peeps on the plane..hoping is the key word I want you to focus on at this point! It was pretty sweet....real friendly crowd! Hey when all else fails there is always HGTV for four hours. How rad was my life! Many of you know I don't have cable or a television, I was bummed when the trip came to an end...and I didn't get to finish my show of the worlds largest yard sale. =)

Did I puke? This is really a question we should be asking yourself! My body has some sick addiction with motion sickness. I will have you know I made it through the whole trip with no Dramamine, just my motion band that electrocutes me...I don't know what's worse, being electrocuted for four hours, or being so trashed you don't realize your drooling on your friendly neighbors next to you. So landing in JFk sucked...I have proof to show you....

Delta got some luvin
Man.....all I can say is "WOW..MOM" I really wish I could claim this work...

But this dude can...."IT WASN'T ME".

I'm about ready to toss my own cookies, and then all of the sudden I smell puke..."Awww man"....this kid in front of me totally tosses it all up. Even better after we landed the family just left the puke to be cleaned up. I was wondering if I should have taken a dump and left it for the flight attendants to pick up as well. I'm mean that's pretty cool right! No need to stay behind and take care of your own waste, no we've got peeps for that now. They love licking up your slime and chunks.

New York is below 20 degrees. Is that legal...Tim if you are reading this....I take it back..I'm not coming to D.C. for the winter wonderland, you're coming to Vegas. I was brutally reminded why I hate the cold, as I took a train to pick up the shuttle and waited outside until I couldn't feel anything anymore. I really hate the cold!

Now in my room. watching Oprah and eating Chinese. Better yet, she's having a special on sex...viewers discretion is advised! ..yup, that's when you know the day should have ended a few hours earlier..you can't find anything good but Oprah to watch, and she's talking about sex.....yup, time to say "I need to crash man"...

Occifer...I have not been alking any drinkahol. I'm pretty wasted in this pictures..it's 3am. Check out my red eyes...its from all the pot smoking ive been doing in the room. Now if you are a traveler you'll recognize the bed spread, and you'll know where I'm staying tonight. Gotta run, much love being sent your way!